


One Ink That Just Can't Be Erased

by cruciomysoul



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love, inked names, inking, makoharu - Freeform, makorin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2166348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruciomysoul/pseuds/cruciomysoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having the person's name whom you are destined to be with tattooed upon your skin is seen - to most people - as a blessing. Makoto doesn't see it that way. Rin doesn't see it at all. Haru couldn't be less bothered. And everyone else- well, they got their blessing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Ink That Just Can't Be Erased

Within in a week of Rei joining their swim team, Nagisa holds a group meeting. This meeting excludes Gou and their teacher, since Nagisa claims it is "swimmers only", which is just as immature as saying "boys only", which he may as well.

"So what's going on, Nagisa?" Makoto asks.

"Rei-chan and I are getting married!"

"I- don't remember agreeing to that. Or proposing, for that matter."

"Not yet, silly!" Nagisa teases, before rolling his sleeve up and thrusting his arm at his three team mates. "But, look! It's going to happen, Rei-chan, I can feel it!"

And their, scribbled down the length of his arm, is Ryugazaki Rei, and the locker room falls completely silent, as no one else really knows how to act- Nagisa is still grinning, Makoto looks ashamed for Nagisa, and embarrassed for Rei, Rei looks horrified, and Haru hasn't let anything show.

Rei doesn't even utter a feeble excuse. He just ups and runs out of the room, leaving the three of them behind. Nagisa's face falls slightly, and Makoto is sympathetic now; Nagisa's methods are unorthodox, but they have the best intentions at heart.

"Should I congratulate you?" Haru asks, and Makoto glances at him, smiling a little. He shakes his head, the tiniest of motions, but Haru understands, and suggest they go out to eat, since he hasn't had any mackerel since lunch time, and it's almost 5 o'clock. 

That night, Makoto gets a call from Rei, who says nothing but: "How is that devilish spawn always right? Does he have some sort of sixth sense?" And then the line goes flat, and Makoto is confused for a moment before he bursts out laughing, and sends Haru a text.

**_Better congratulate them after all,_**  it reads,  ** _seems Nagisa's wake up call really did work._**

He's surprised when he gets a response, less than a minute later, since Haru is notorious for not answering his phone.

**_Noted. Will send them cake._ **

**_Don't send them cake!!!!!!!_ **

* * *

The past semester has been a whirlwind for Gou.

First, she reconciled with her brother, however slight.

Second, she successfully set up Iwatobi's Swim Club.

Third, she arranged several joint practices with Samezuka Academy.

Fourth, no matter how round about and long winded, she got Haru and Rin talking again, which eventually led to their rekindled friendship.

Fifth, she and her brother properly became reacquainted, and she's proud to call him her onii-chan once again.

And sixth- well, that's about to happen.

"You always take too long in the bathroom." Rin growls, shoving the door open.

"Onii-chan!" Gou whines, temporarily taking the toothbrush out of her mouth. She pouts, but the effect is lost on Rin, who merely glares.

"What?" He bites out, "It's not as if the sink isn't big enough for both us." Which is true. They've stood and brushed their teeth together hundreds of times in the past. (Admittedly, it was a little easier back then, but it's not exactly difficult now.)

So here they stand, side by side, brushing their teeth.

It's silent, for the most mart, until Gou's hand cramps up and she lets out a little shriek, and Rin's their instantly, dropping his brush next to hers in the sink and swallowing the paste-turned-froth in his mouth as he rushes to find out what's wrong, why she's suddenly on the floor and crushing her arm to her chest.

"What's wrong?" He asks, and when she doesn't reply, urges, "Gou! What's going on?"

And with tears in her eyes, she answers: "There's a name."

And there disappears all of Rin's worry, because it has been replaced with an enormous wave of over-protectiveness.

"There's a name." He repeats, flatly, and Gou nods, so Rin sighs, before standing again, and carrying on brushing his teeth. "It's just a name," He says after he finishes, "You don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

* * *

Rin didn't see the name, but he has a pretty good idea of who it was. His suspicious are confirmed when he returns to Samezuka at the end of the weekend, and the captain is wearing his Academy jacket. At practice. In the indoor pool.

Mikoshiba explains it away with a cold, saying he doesn't want to make anybody else ill, but would feel "wrong" if he didn't at least dress the part, and Rin calls him out on his bullshit straight away.

At first, Mikoshiba looks like a mouse caught in a trap, before he looks defiant, angry that Rin has challenged him, his authority.

"Don't question your captain, Matsuoka." He barks out, after he's pulled Rin to the side.

"I'll question whoever the hell I want, especially when it concerns my sister." Rin growls back, before instantly snapping his jaw shut, because  _maybe I shouldn't have mentioned Gou._

"How did you-" Mikoshiba collects himself before he finishes that sentence, shooting Rin down with a "It's none of your business."

Rin ' _hmmpfs'_  before starting back in the pool, and doesn't relent in glaring at Mikoshiba all throughout.

He knows that really, he has potentially fucked everything up, but he's still in over protective mode, and still 98% certain Gou is the name on Mikoshiba's chest, just like Seijoru is the name on Gou's wrist.

He didn't see it, honestly.

After practice, when he's lying in bed, alone in the dorm now that Nitori has found that someone, his phone bleeps and whilst he doesn't really want to read it, he kind of knows he should.

It's from Gou.

**_I don't know whether I should thank you or punch you. Depending on this Saturday, I guess I'll have my_ _answer._ **

Rin snorts, but at least he knows now what - and when - is happening.

* * *

Makoto hasn't sat at his desk like this for a while, now. In one hand he has a half empty coke can, whilst the other is lazily hovering over the track pad of his laptop.

He's not really doing anything important.

Which is probably why the sensation trickling up his arm is suck a shock to him. He rushes to put the can back on the desk, before he drops it and spills any, and by the time he's done that, the feeling has stopped.

He's never experienced this before, but he knows the feeling. It's just one of those things that doesn't have to be explained.

"Oh, no." Makoto whispers. Because this is it. This is when he knows for definite.

When it's over, he stares at his wrist for a few more seconds, before his slams the laptop screen shut, grabs his keys, his phone, leaves a hastily scribbled note for his mother, and exits the house, as fast and as quiet as possible.

He waits until he is at the park to dial the number. He is completely alone.

They pick up on the third ring.

"...Makoto?" The voice grumbles. He sounds angry, which isn't good, but then again, Makoto isn't good.

"Hey," Makoto says, lamely, because what else is there to say?

"...What do you want? It's almost midnight."

"Ah, I'm sorry, Rin, I didn't mean to wake you." And now Makoto feels insanely guilty; of course it's late.  _Christ, Makoto, think of others, will you._

"You didn't."

"Oh!" Makoto smiles, despite himself, because at least he isn't responsible for waking Rin.

"So what's up?"

"Oh, right." It isn't the same 'Oh' as before, and Rin notices.

"Hey, where are you?"

"...At the park."

"The park? Now? By yourself?" Makoto nods, which is stupid, because Rin can't see him,

"Ah, yeah."

"...Why?" There's some shuffling in the background of Rin's voice, and Makoto isn't sure, but he'd like to think that it was Rin putting on shoes, maybe.

"I, uh, needed the air." And then: "I got my name today."

Rin makes a small sound of understanding, and then he's asking which park Makoto's currently at. "Alright," He says, "I'll be there soon." And he puts the phone down, and Makoto feels warm, if still slightly guilty.

* * *

"Haru doesn't love me," Makoto murmurs, hugging his knees closer. "He never will." The last part is heavily muffled, but Rin can still make the words out. Rin frowns, 

"How do you know?" He starts to ask, but Makoto is smiling at him, that smile that never wavers, the one that should never exist, the one that captures all of his unshed tears. Rin can't help it; he gulps, feeling immensely guilty, despite not being relatively at fault.

He thinks his green eyes might be watering, too, but Rin concludes that that is just the reflection of the moon. Makoto doesn't cry.

"Haven't you ever noticed," the way Makoto speaks about Haru could be described as love itself. It is utter devotion, dripping from each syllable, and Rin can't help but to liken it to that of a mother speaking about thir favourite child. "The way that Haru never wears anything that cuts off above the knee?"

What... an odd think to notice. But now that Makoto has brought it up, Rin finds himself unable to do anything but agree. Haru never wears boxers, or briefs, or speedo pants- it's always those knee length swimming shorts, even when he has no intention of swimming.

Makoto doesn't let Rin respond to the question, instead carrying on. "It's because he has a name, right across his hamstrings."

Rin cannot decipher the emotion in Makoto's voice. It isn't sad. It isn't pining. It certainly isn't happy. It sounds almost- hollow, but Makoto isn't the type to react in a hollow fashion to anything, so Rin concludes it can't be that.

Perhaps the sound of Makoto's voice is the sound of cherry blossom's blowing in the wind.

Yes, that analogy sounds about right; Makoto's voice right now is the sound of petals falling from their trees, the echoes of their cries as they get swept away with the wind, when they realise they don't need their roots to have their own grand adventure.

To start their own tree.

"And it's not me."

There it is. The horror, the nauseous feeling of dread that every child grows up anticipating; that the person who's name you have, doesn't have yours.

This is not an abnormal occurrence. It has happened before, and it will happen again. But it doesn't happen very often, so when it does, the effect is brutal.

Sometimes, people ignore the names embellished on their skin, and follow their hearts- or heads, depending on perspective. Other times, they throw perfectly good relationships in the trash because the names just don't add up.

Rin was told that his mother didn't have her father's name. But also that it didn't matter to her, because that was who she loved and whoever this 'Yuki' guy was, could go stuff himself, because she wasn't interested, he wasn't the one who helped bring her two beautiful children into the world.

He didn't know who his father had.

Part of him hopes it wasn't his mother; that their love proved the stupid, unjust system of the ink. That one did not one else's name to be in love, for their love to be considered pure, for them to be the perfect match.

But then part of him also hopes that it was his mother's name on his father' skin, because then what does that say about his mother? That she followed her heart, the head strong, prideful woman that she is, that she refused to conform to the standards of the ink.

Rin is not a monster. He cannot begin to understand, or even describe, how Makoto must feel about that.

"Have- have you seen it, then?" Makoto nods, giving a little laugh.

"Of course I have. What don't Haru and I share?" And there's that smile again. It should be illegal.

"Who is it?" Rin knows it is wrong. One does not simply ask another for the name of their ink. Makoto's reaction expresses this.

"Rin!" He almost scolds, looking slightly scandalised. "I'm not telling you Haru's name!" Rin shrugs, indifferent on the outside, still curious on the inside.

Who could it be, if not Makoto? The only thing Haru loved was the water. And he couldn't possibly have that on him-

"Oh my god," Rin choked out, torn between being thoroughly ashamed and highly amused, "Don't tell me it's the  _pool_?!"

Makoto stares at him for a moment, incredulous, before bursting out into fits and shakes of laughter. His shoulders are moving up and down, and his breath is leaving his lungs fast- too fast, honestly, and he'll be behaving like a seal in no time.

Rin just grins, baring his teeth, because hey, at least he made that smile go away.

Eventually, though, the laughter subdues, and Makoto goes back into the silent, reserved mode, which also should be illegal for Makoto. "It's not the pool," He clarifies, therefore terminating Rin's plans of entering Haru for the Guinness Book of World Records.

"Well," Rin scratches the back of his neck, feeling somewhat awkward now, because what is he supposed to say? He hasn't experienced this.

He has no name, nothing. No splodge of ink anywhere on his body.

"It's okay," Makoto answers the unanswered question, the one that hung deftly in the air. "Really." Rin knows that Makoto is just trying to placate him, but he's decent enough not to call him out on it.

There are some things you make you friends talk about. And then there are some things that you don't.

"I've had a long time to deal with this, you know." Rin is positive, now, that Makoto is talking for the sake of talking. He guesses that, should Makoto stay silent, he might not deal with it so well. He might not be so okay.

"Haru was the first one to get his name. It was actually just before we entered high school."

_So long ago,_  Rin thinks, and then realises: Makoto has known for quite some time that he is not Haru's love. And he has not left his side - not evens strayed once, never wavered - ever.

"I'd actually stopped over at his the night, as a sort of end of vacation celebration. When we woke up the next morning," It seemed that Makoto was recalling the memory in his mind, as the expression on his face turned quite fond. "It was just there. I practically screamed, when I saw it. 

"It was weird, like, I was positive it wasn't there when we went to sleep. But then we woke up, and- he hadn't even noticed. Didn't feel any different. He probably wouldn't have even found out about it if I hadn't said anything.

"But earlier- when mine came, I felt it. It didn't hurt; it just felt warm, and tingly, and it made me slightly light hearted and my heart flutter, but not my chest constrict or anything dangerous. Almost like how I feel when I look at Haru."

Is Rin supposed to be responding? Interjecting his thoughts, here and there? He thinks it might be good to do so, but he also thinks it will be disrespectful, and so sits in a companioned silence, listening intently to every word that Makoto says.

"I don't think he intends to do anything about the name, though. I mean, he's had chances. But he's never taken them. I don't understand why, and I'm not going to ask. But I know it's not because he loves me instead," Makoto adds, as if sensing where Rin's thoughts were headed.

It was plausible; Haru could be refusing to take action because he prefers Makoto, and was just waiting for a sign that Makoto was his, too.

Or he could just be being Haru, and letting himself be swept away with the water, following the predestined path of the river and letting things happen without him having to do anything.

And knowing Haru, it was probably the latter. Even if the ink burned your flesh more and more every day until you did something about it, Haru probably still wouldn't. Maybe he'd jump in the pool, alleviate the pain with the ice cold water.

That sounded like Haru.

"I just don't think he's interested. Which-"

And now Rin intervenes, because he believes Makoto has said enough sad things for the night, and should not subject himself to further hurt.

"Which just proves that the ink is a shitty system, and should not be around, and we as human beings are way better without it, because who the heck needs some black writing dictating their romantic life?" Rin emphasis his words with grand hand gestures, and if his teeth clank together forcefully at the end, well, let it be said that Rin had a flare for dramatics.

Makoto looks at him for a moment, before quietly agreeing. "...Yeah. The system is pretty shitty."

"Very shitty." Rin repeats, vehemently.

"And we don't need it."

"Nope."

"Because the system is unjust and wrong." Makoto is growing bolder, and louder with his statements.

"Damn straight it is." Rin raises his volume and changes his tone, mirroring Makoto.

"My life will not be dictated by some shitty ink!" He yells then, and Rin just hollers in response, calling out multiple words like 'yeah' and 'woohoo' and 'eat shit, you stupid ink god'.

"That felt good," Makoto announces, after they've come down from their giddy high.

"Of course it did!" Rin nods, grinning, "You told that ink where to stuff it. Fuck you, ink!"

Makoto giggles, and Rin thinks to himself,  _I could get used to this_ , but then stops himself abruptly, because that is territory he does not wish to go down, no, thank you every much, because  _Makoto is inked and he is not._

_Makoto has the potential for someone and I do not._  Because no matter what Makoto may claim, about Haru never being able to love him, there's no way that could be true.

People change. Name's don't, but people do, and Haru could easily wake up one day and smell the roses, and realise that the reason he hasn't done anything about his name is because  _Makoto is literally right there, always has been, always will be_ , and Haru doesn't need anybody else.

Which would make Rin so super fucking happy, because he knows how super fucking happy it would make Makoto.

Which is super fucking sad, really, because Rin can feel the warmth on his ankle now, the tingling sensation and butterflies in his stomach, and he thinks,  _fuck, what the actual fuck._

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't watched any of eternal summer yet, so if you guys prefer gou with the younger mikoshiba sibling, i apologise :3
> 
> i intended this to be rin/mako when i started, but then it turned into mako/haru, and then bloody haru/rin, before finally unrequited rin/mako
> 
> anywho, i hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
